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Captain Gossip

Captain Gossip

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A short radio show featuring Captain Gossip. Humor with light hearted sarcasm. We invite our listeners to write a script. We'll try hard to use it.

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?I'll not subject myself to the mental anguish of trying to answer the question of how important is the human species to the grand scheme of things when the late Stephen Crane, an American poet, has flawlessly answered this question in his poem, ‘A Man Said To The Universe.'? – B.W. Miller
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Captain Gossip

The movie's title, obviously, refers to the song everyone tries to nail at karaoke nights, and ends up butchering like a particularly juicy chicken.
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Captain Gossip

Two countries that hated each other about as much as Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Michelle Wolf, and DONALD TRUMP was the one who made them play together in the sandbox?
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Captain Gossip

That seems fair because we can count on those on the other side of this fence bashing us and the things we like. It's called human nature.
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Captain Gossip

I'm talk about the gas in your gut. All my life I've had a problem with gas. In school I was called Tootankhamun the Flatulent Pharaoh.
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Captain Gossip

If the volcano in Hawaii blows its top big time and traps all the people on the big island like Mount Vesuvius trapped those on Pompeii and Herculaneum that would be a great source for jokes.
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Captain Gossip

Being a misanthrope, and having made my living as a mercenary, I was pulling for Trump to win the election.
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Captain Gossip

If this decision of his to opt-out the Iran agreement does what it could do, a lot of Americans are dead and don't know it.
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Captain Gossip

Get some money together and give it to these scumbags and you might get some of them to join your protest.
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Captain Gossip

The girl had a double barrel sawed off shotgun. They're called The Coachman. She said, ?Pa, go yell for the parson. I got myself a man.?
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